ZOMBIE ARMAGEDDON!

my dad and i are a kind of zombie nerds, and my dad found this on one of his sites he looks at. i did not get this myself, but its hilarous. some people think World War Z could actually happen, and they have out-of-this-world personalities. anyway, post your comments.

Not sure what to do when the zombie apocalypse strikes? The Green Light Anti-Zombie Squad treated New York Comic Conners to a lively demonstration on how to survive your next encounter with the walking dead.

The Green Light Anti-Zombie Squad offers lectures and demonstrations to help you and your loved ones survive an army of the undead with your brains (and sanity intact). To ensure you'll make it through the zombie apocalypse, heed their simple tips.

1. Clear the Room: There's nothing worse than stepping into a room only to be set upon by a horde of brain-hungry zombies. A team of four armed shooters can easily clear a room if they all stand against the nearest wall: one body in each corner and two in the middle. This position proves optimal for quickly dispatching of a room full of the reanimated.


2. Never Turn Your Back on the Enemy: Shambling isn't just for zombies. Three live humans can stand with their backs together and carefully rotate through the room, ensuring that all eyes are facing outward and no one falls victim to a surprise attack.


3. The Fine Line: For those lucky enough to amass a relatively large army of live humans, the Fine Line is the best way to fend off roving zombie hordes. Simply form two lines of armed persons, one line in front of the other. Have the front line shoot while the back line holds. When the front line runs out of ammo, the back line steps in while the front line reloads. Tragically, the Squad's training zombie, Billy the Hunter, died while the Squad demonstrated this technique.

4. Zombies Are the Least of Your Worries: It's bad enough that you have to deal with the zombified masses, who are tireless, feel no pain, and greatly outnumber healthy human beings. But perhaps even more deadly are the humans who simply can't cope with the new world order. It's best if you keep a psychologist on hand who can identify and subdue such persons before they embark on a murderous rampage that makes the zombies look as ferocious as fluffy kittens.

5. Choose Your Weapons Wisely: Not all weapons work for all people, and the trendiest zombie-fighting armaments aren't always the best. When in doubt, melee weapons are a fine tool against the undead, but think twice before picking up that giant hammer. As satisfying as squishing zombie skull may be, swinging the hammer creates a sizable arc that gives zombies plenty of time to nibble at your armpits. GLAZS advises that you invest in a machete, which is cheap, lightweight, and neatly separates a zombie's head from its bodies. As for ranged weapons, you may want to reconsider that sawed-off shotgun you're so fond of. Bolt action rifles are both powerful and accurate, without the ammunition restrictions of the close-range shotgun.

6. Windows Are Not Your Friend: Zombies have a nasty habit of crashing through glass windows, so it's best to choose a hideout with as few ground level windows as possible. Steer clear of malls, coffee shops, and boutique outlets in favor of Costco, BJs, Sam's Club, or any other large warehouse. If you find yourself trapped in your house, it's best to hightail it up to the attic, which the uncoordinated zombies will have trouble reaching. Basements, even windowless ones, spell trouble.

7. No Brains for Oil: If you're traveling with a group, you may consider fleeing by minivan or SUV, but be warned that the gas mileage and rollover rates might be a literal killer. If you're traveling alone, it's best to take a high miles per gallon vehicle, like a dirt bike, or, better yet, grab a bicycle and escape the zombies under your own replenishable power.

8. Fight World War Z with TNT: Using dynamite around the undead is a tricky proposition; the right amount of explosives can blow them to bits, but you might get cremated yourself. It's better to stave off those desiccated corpse with a controlled burn. But, GLAZS's demolitions expert warns, make sure it's a fire you can contain. A raging wildfire could prove far more deadly than the zombies themselves.

9. Animals: Friend or Foe? Animals can be invaluable allies at the end of the world, but the zombie infection could render them more hazard than help. If the zombie plague is viral, it can infect any living cells, causing even the most inhuman animals to exhibit flesh-craving symptoms. GLAZS members ask: Would you rather fight off a zombie human — or a zombie lion?


10. Suit Up: Perhaps the best way to prepare for the day the dead rise from their graves is to assemble the perfect zombie-fighting attire. Avoid brain spray-back by wearing goggles and covering your face with a non-porous material. Use plate mail or leather to create a bite-proof body suit. Kevlar gloves (provided to some food industry workers) can be worn as is or refashioned into impenetrable sleeves, allowing you to fend off zombie bites by holding up your forearms. Riot shields also add an extra layer of protection and make the zombie head squishing that much easier.


http://io9.com/5148637/10-tips-for-surviving-the-zombie-apocalypse

LMAO, i shall try to keep this in mind when we are under attack by the living dead.

Your Crazy.

Tastu wrote:

LMAO, i shall try to keep this in mind when we are under attack by the living dead.

good. who knows, this may save your life someday.

Yoshirou wrote:

Your Crazy.

thank you.

Tastu wrote:

LMAO, i shall try to keep this in mind when we are under attack by the living dead.

YOUR WELCOME TASTU!!! its time to put this knowledge to the test!

Tastu wrote:

LMAO, i shall try to keep this in mind when we are under attack by the living dead.

YOUR WELCOME TASTU!!! its time to put this knowledge to the test!

If there ever be a zombie attack, the first person I'd kill is myself.

you see, its that kind of pasifist view that will turn you into a zombie before you get the chance to kill urself.

lul, what's that? Do you mean pacifism? O.o

Hmm... as good as the guide may sound, it's just too simplistic.

And geeze, that part of the guide doesn't even get into fortifing a base of opperation, or defensive structures used for elimiation and control of threats. Although, I guess I wouldn't have to worry too much about a zombie takeover, because I live in a walk in attic, aside from perhaps, food, I'd be perfectly protected against a zombie invasion. At the bottom of my steps, several guns, in my room, many swords and knives, so weapons aren't a problem either.

And I could make flamethrowers too, depending on the types of zombies, I have squirt guns, gas that's used for the mowers and such, and even several lighters with fluid, use some wire and such, and I'd have a homemade flamethrower. So yes, I could survive a zombie invasion.

lol. last time i saw something like this was on a blog, about how scientists say that if there was a zombie outbreak we are all done for because when people first hear about it, they think, " your crazy" then finally when they is a swarm of them, its too late and they are surrounded lol XD;

sSsDoOm wrote:

And geeze, that part of the guide doesn't even get into fortifing a base of opperation, or defensive structures used for elimiation and control of threats.

i should tell you that i have much more personal knowledge than this basic guide (which i posted over a year ago) could ever convey. for instance, i have the ultimate RV base camp during a zombie invasion. you need to duct tape or seal the main entrances upp in some other way (weld ), and put iron bars on all the windows. becaus eyou know how zombes have that uncanny habit of shuffling through windows, then either cawling through or dragging you out of the newly created opening. of course that is only obvious, and if you think im fiished you have another thing coming! there is also an attachment on the back that can hold items like fuel; its hard to explain but it is like a chain box on the back. and of course, i sawed a horizontal line in the Rv at about waste level (from the outside). that is used to chainsaw off any zombies that may shamble acoss the RV. now of course, since an RV has a low mpg, so i have an incredibly large amount of fuel and food inside. but if worse comes to worse, i can also jump out a hole in the roof, from which i have a hanglider (which holds a bike so i can still escape when i land) so that i can fly away from the zombies. so basically i have no problem in defensive issues.

sSsDoOm wrote:

because I live in a walk in attic, aside from perhaps, food, I'd be perfectly protected against a zombie invasion. At the bottom of my steps, several guns, in my room, many swords and knives, so weapons aren't a problem either.

only regular guns, not a full turret? how wimpy. ...knives? ROFLMAO. fail, far too close range. even regular swords are cutting it close, you might get bitten. most will quickly dull and cannot sever the head completly, which will not kill them, and you will almost certinaly get bitten if you use them for too long. a chainsaw will suvice because it is quick, however.

sSsDoOm wrote:

I have squirt guns

dont get me started. did you mean fill the guns with gas, and light it? too dangerous. too inaccurate, and will set fire to your entire home. likewise, explosions are just as likley to get you killed as it is about half of the zombies.

FYI. i am a member of Z.A.A.S.T.- Zombie Apacolaplyse Aprehention and Survival Team, the zombie club at my school. no joke.

we need a zombie emotocon!!!!!!!! ive seen it on a few other sites, and even my email has one. (juno.com) xD